As each day goes by, our relationships grow by years here at HODR. If you don't know what that means, let me explain. WHen you are here, you build these relationships and they move at a rapid pace. Whether it be for the good or bad or the relationship, it moves at warp speed. Where else would you be discussing bowel movements within three days of knowing girls, guys, whatever. It's pretty funny how fast we all grow together. Just as fast as we grow together, we also learn more and more about people's personalities and can grow apart just as quickly. It's a shame, but it's reality. The rapid growing together though, is a thing of magic. I had really been close minded in my first couple of weeks here, and didn't expand my horizons fully due to the fear of not being accepted I guess? Everyone else here has already been fairly well world traveled and I am the straggler who has barely seen the walls outside of the US. Intimidation is the word I guess. As the days have gone by I realize that just as selfless these people are with helping the Haitian community. They are just as selfless at helping out our fellow family members. In the past few days I have hung out with people I thought disliked me in a big way. It turns out I am just a weirdo. No suprise to my people at home, but hey, I'm coming around...
A couple more really good people are leaving today. It gets really sad when some of your favorites leave. Like I said, if you have known someone here for three weeks, it literally feels like you've been life long friends. This experience has been the best of my life, and it is far far far from over. I will explain that in one of my last blogs before I go home on Tuesday!
It was strange to discuss some things with people, but it opened my eyes a bit. I got to hanging out with people that pretty much just rubble here and they feel like they are useless at times, and the work they do they didn't feel was gratifying enough. I explained to them that at one point I felt exactly the same way about NOT rubbling. We got to talking about it fairly deeply and came to the conclusion that HODR is an entire body of work. Each place has it's importance here, and without one the other would not be operating. It was shocking to hear that side of the sectrum because I would kill to be out in the field rubbling my face off. Although this week I am trying to get out of the office and do as much as I can in the field to take in the rest of this experience before MY BREAK...
A little update about my Haitian brother. He has been back and forth here for the past week, and I havent written anything about him because I was waiting to see what the deal was. He is finally coming in to live in Leogane, moving from Port au Prince to come work with HODR. I don't know if he will just be translating or working in the field as well, but I am super pumped for him, and I am so happy to have at least affected one persons life while I am here. I have made alot of local Haitian friends, but none of the others come up to hug me like they almost fainted without seeing me. Everytime I see Jermaise he tells me he had a dream about me, and misses me tons. It brings me to my knees once I get alone and think about it. People in America have their THINGS. People in Haiti have love. They have family. They have nothing else but hope. People in America, especially where I live replace their sadness with material things that really mean nothing in the big picture of things. To make up for peoples short comings at home, they think they need to buy a nice car to be accepted, or they need to goto the bar every night to show people how cool they are since they party with everyone. No, not here. Respect is the name of the game here. Show it and you shall receive it. Work hard and you will be noticed for what you are doing. Looks don't matter, our bodies are just shells. It's what's on the inside that makes the man(or woman :)). Thats what makes this place such a beautiful world. Not your bar tab. Not your car. Not your purse. I know it may sound redundant, but it just sinks in deeper with each day.
Some people here still don't understand that, but those are the people that form these small cliques and end up acting miserable for the time they're here. They goto bed early and wake up miserable anyway Enjoy yourself while you're here. This is the time of your life and you're pissed off? FUCK, that was me for a day or two but I snapped out of it. I have seen people progress into that miserable person I don't despise anymore. I just feel really bad for their souls. When I say go out and enjoy yourself too, I don't mean you have to go get drunk everynight like some people do. I just mean take in every single piece of beauty that your eyes catch in this wonderful country. Embrace the community and let them know that it is our honor to come help. Some of the people here are just absolute snobs, and think they are cool because they sit around and talk shit about the other volunteers, when in reality they are the ones who are being talked about. Because they come off as such pretentious assholes.
Enough about the assholes. Lets talk about the beauty. Monday night we all went out because we had off yesterday for Flag Day. After ten oclock curfew a bunch of us went onto the roof and just kicked it for awhile. Within a half hour of being up there a monsoon of rain poured down upon us. It was some of the best feelings I have ever experienced in my life. For the first time in Haiti, I was cold. The wind was blowing and the rain was falling. We all just sat and embraced it for a few minutes before we decided to crowd around underneath a tarp at someones tent. A group of about twelve of us just sat there and took in the rain. Laughing, talking, loving. It was just a scattered family of people embracing the beauty of this entire project. Where else does it rain and you are actualy fired up to be out in it? Everyone was so happy, and nothing was going to change that, for that minute. It was breathtaking.
Speaking of beautiful, as the days go by, you really see how much many people appreciate us. We walk the streets and just light up every persons smile with our broken creole and giant smiles. When we make purchases out here in the street, we are changing people's lives. Everything we do here feels good. Not for us, but for the people of Haiti. That's why we are here. For the people of Haiti. So, next time you are thinking about going out to get blackout drunk like some people do here on a daily basis. Think about the main reason you're here. Everytime you stumble out of the bar drunk you are just making a horrible example for the people on this island who just want a better life. Who cares about the fact you're making a fool of yourself. Think about the people....
I come home in five days and I can't wait to see the people I love. I don't know if it will be an embrace of hello, or just stopping in to say goodbye. Either way, I love and miss you all. You are the ones who make me want to be a better person for the world. Because I spent alot of time being that selfish asshole that only cared about what was going on with me. I am just thankful I found out at some point in my life that their is alot more to life than America.
LOVE
Dan
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